THE EMOTIONAL IMPACT OF GIFTING

 

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The History of Gifting

Every Christmas, birthday, anniversary, or special occasion, we carefully select and offer gifts to our loved ones. It’s something we do naturally, and most of us don’t think about it too much.

And yet, the gift we choose and how we present it says so much about us, our relationships, and the intricate social structures in our community. Behind every perfect present lies a web of social, psychological, and emotional undercurrents.

The practice of gifting has existed since the dawn of human civilization.

Researchers believe that prehistoric humans exchanged gifts such as unusually shaped stones or animal teeth to strengthen social bonds and show appreciation to others. As social structures evolved, gifts became more elaborate and decorative.

For thousands of years, Native American tribes engaged in the tradition of potlatch. Predominantly practiced by tribes of the Pacific Northwest, the potlatch was a complex ceremony where property and gifts were distributed to affirm or reaffirm the status and wealth of the giver. The more extravagant the gifts and ceremony, the more powerful the giver.

Powerful tribal leaders were expected to shower their tribes with lavish gifts according to their rank. Similarly, the tradition among the Inupiat in Alaska dictated that after a successful hunt, whaling crews would distribute the largest share of their catch to other tribe members. The more tribe members who received a share, the more respected the whaling crew.

Early Egyptian history reveals that the deceased were buried with goods or gifts deemed necessary for the afterlife. It was the eldest son’s duty to oversee his parents’ burial and ensure they had all they needed.

At a minimum, these gifts included everyday items such as bowls, combs, and food, while wealthier Egyptians were buried with idols, amulets, jewelry, furniture, and other valuables. Each gift served a distinct purpose, but most were meant to protect and assist the deceased’s transition to the afterlife.

Gifting also played a crucial role in ancient Greek society. Intricate, decorative gifts were given to express emotions, build relationships, and in the spirit of mutual aid or hospitality—a central concept in ancient Greek culture. Families were expected to welcome travelers as if they are disguised gods into their homes.

A proper welcome included offering food and a place to sleep. Gifts were also given as a sign of respect and devotion. For example, it was customary to present gods with offerings in exchange for safe passage or protection in battle.

In the Middle Ages, gift exchanges played a significant role in social interactions. Gifting offered a meaningful way to foster social ties or show affection towards powerful individuals and institutions, such as kings or the church.

The dowry serves as a prominent example of medieval gift-giving, intended to strengthen alliances. Involving the bride’s father presenting lavish gifts to the groom in exchange for marrying and caring for his daughter, these engagement gifts often included land, money, livestock, or precious metals.

 

Why Do We Give Gifts?

Since gifting plays such a pivotal role in our social structure, we give gifts for many, often conflicting reasons. Sometimes, our culture demands it, such as Christmas or birthday gifts. Sometimes, it builds and strengthens relationships with family members and potential partners and can be done for various reasons.

 

To Build and Strengthen Relationships

We often give gifts to reaffirm or establish our relationships with others, meaning they are a reflection of both the giver and the recipient, as well as their unique bond. Giving a gift to someone we care about allows us to communicate our feelings and appreciation for them.

Some sociologists believe that we give gifts only to those with whom we seek relationships. In his book “The Gift,” French sociologist Marcel Mauss argues that not giving a gift or rejecting one essentially equates to refusing the relationship.

 

A Way to Show Love and Devotion

In one way or another, gifts symbolize love and devotion between two partners, aligning with the theory of “symbolic interactionism,” which claims that people communicate through symbols.

For example, what do men typically buy for their partners when trying to express love or devotion? Flowers are a popular choice because they symbolize feelings of love through their fragrant beauty.

 

Symbolic Communication

Have you ever given a gift that filled you with joy? Or perhaps you’ve received one that upset you because it didn’t meet your expectations. But why would this upset you? It’s the thought that counts, and that’s what’s important.

Upon deeper reflection, this is because we assign symbolic meaning to gifts. A gift that doesn’t thrill you may be perceived as thoughtless despite its altruistic motives.

 

To Receive Something in Return

Since gifts symbolize our desire to build or reinforce a relationship, they also require some form of reciprocation. Modern sociologist Dimitri Mortelmans argues that gift-giving creates a “debt balance,” so gifts must be repaid to avoid bad feelings, creating a cycle of gift exchange.

When reciprocating a gift, it should have approximately equal value, as giving too little may suggest you don’t value the relationship while giving too much could imply overvaluation and cause embarrassment.

 

To Help Others

Some gifts are given without expecting anything in return. For example, we often give gifts to small children or pets who cannot reciprocate.

While these gifts may repay us in other ways, altruism can also play a role. Love and appreciation are two of the biggest motivators for altruistic gift-giving.

Giving gifts to help others can include donating money or volunteering for charity. Several theories attempt to explain why people do this.

One theory suggests that the brain’s dopamine reward system is activated through charitable giving. Essentially, we give because it makes us feel good.

 

Types of Gifts

Choosing the perfect gift can sometimes feel like an impossible challenge.

Research from the University of California examines the motivation and symbolism behind the gifts we give, suggesting there are four main types of gifts:

 

• Gifts that are symbolic of the giver and recipient
• Gifts that reflect the giver’s knowledge of the recipient
• Gifts symbolic of the occasion
• Gifts that are expressive and carry a set of meaningful interpretations

 

Mary Finley Wolfinbarger argues that the most beloved gifts often fall into the second category and are gifts the recipient desires but wouldn’t buy for themselves. The least favorite gifts were too symbolic of the giver and held little meaning for the recipient.

However, Wolfinbarger states that most gifts are compromises between what the recipient wants and what the giver wants them to have.

 

So, Why Do You Give?

This is a difficult question to answer in just one sentence. Maybe you give because you feel obligated by kindness once shown to you.

Perhaps you aim to set an example for your children. Maybe it’s your friend’s birthday, and you want to make them feel appreciated.

 

How Does Giving Feel?

The truth is, giving is an experience ingrained in most people’s daily lives. We exchange currency for a full stomach. We give handshakes, hugs, and waves. We prepare meals and share dinners with our families.

It may not always seem like giving while it’s happening, but this quality makes acts of kindness so enigmatic and special. Giving is deeply tied to who we are as humans—and it’s no surprise that we receive in return.

Receiving gifts during special occasions brings us immense joy, especially when they come from loved ones. It makes us feel loved and appreciated. However, some people prefer giving gifts over receiving them.

Their generosity and thoughtfulness often astonish those around them. For some, receiving feels better than giving gifts. However, studies reveal that generosity toward others brings more satisfaction and lasting happiness. This is why many people go out of their way to make someone else feel loved.

Some people make a significant effort to ensure others feel remembered, especially during significant milestones. These include weddings, newborns, or opening a new business. They take the time to attend these special occasions and celebrate with family and friends.

If they cannot attend, they don’t forget to send their best wishes. They send champagne, flowers, cakes, and other gifts to let others know they remember their special day. Here are some different reasons why giving gifts feels wonderful:

 

Effectively Expressing Love

The ability to express our feelings is a fulfilling experience. Sometimes, people struggle to express what they want to say to their loved ones. Thankfully, they can search for the perfect gift to show their feelings.

There are times when we cannot attend important occasions due to unavoidable circumstances. Naturally, we often feel bad for letting our family or friends down when we inform them we can’t make it.

We can still send our greetings by sending unique gifts. You can use online gift delivery services to ensure your gifts arrive on time.

Knowing that we can show our gratitude to people also makes us happy. Gratitude is inherently linked to positive emotions.

If we can effectively convey our message of appreciation to others, it brings immense satisfaction and happiness. It also strengthens our relationships with those who receive our gifts.

 

Expressing Sincere Apologies

Inability to express regret personally affects our emotions. We feel sad that we cannot sincerely show our apologies for a particular situation.

Sending gifts is an effective solution to apologize to our loved ones. This increases our chances of forgiveness, lifts a burden off our shoulders, and improves our mood.

Sometimes people misunderstand generous individuals as someone trying to flaunt their wealth. Some think these individuals merely want to showcase what they have. However, some people are naturally inclined to show compassion and thoughtfulness toward others. Consider trying it yourself Instead of doubting someone else’s motive for giving.

You might be surprised at how blissful it feels to make someone smile by gifting them something. A simple gesture can create a massive impact on someone’s life, especially if they’re celebrating a special occasion. Gifts aren’t just material things. Rather, they are about sharing positive emotions and spreading love among those around us.

 

Surprise! 5 Great Ways to Present a Special Gift

When you choose the absolutely perfect gift, simply handing it over won’t do. You’ve purchased an amazing piece of jewelry for someone special and can’t wait to see their face when they open it. While the gift remains unseen, your anticipation builds for that moment of surprise and delight.

You can have so much fun with the “big reveal” itself; it doesn’t have to take too much extra effort. Plus, you’ll create a lasting memory with a great story the recipient will share every time they show off their new gift.

 

Turning Gift-Giving Into an Event

Anyone can make dinner reservations and deliver a beautifully wrapped gift box over dessert and candles. Even the surprise party follows a standard script once the guest of honor arrives. But truly inspired gift-givers can elevate the act of giving and receiving into an experience. Here are some suggestions to get you started.

 

1. The Unlikely Delivery Person. Your recipient may already expect a gift from you for an upcoming occasion and logically assumes you’ll be the one to present it. Here’s where you can create some confusion that ultimately leads to a happy surprise.

 

Enlist someone the recipient would never expect to deliver jewelry—or any gift, for that matter.

The obvious first choice might be a child, perhaps your own, but you could also have a compliant pet carry a small box attached to their collar or a neighbor pretend to have received your mail delivery by mistake.

Have your child or another “special delivery” person approach the recipient with the gift in hand.

No need to say much beyond “This is for you.” In these circumstances, your recipient won’t be prepared for a piece of fine jewelry, for example, so all expectations will be thrown off when they open this beautiful surprise from you.

 

• Fake Wrapping. A little trickery can go a long way, especially if you’re known for less-than-successful gift choices in the past. The trick here is to sow seeds of disappointment (perhaps even irritation!), which quickly transform into joy.

Start with an empty box from some useful but decidedly unromantic items—office supplies, cleaning products, hardware tools, and the like are ideal.

Essentially, you’re aiming for a reaction like, “I can’t believe you’d dare get me X for our anniversary!” Of course, nestled deep inside this packaging will be the real gift from you.

You may need to gently prompt the person to keep digging to find it, but it won’t ruin the surprise.

 

3. Scavenger Hunt. This plan takes a little more work but can double as a group activity during a party. Instead of handing over a wrapped gift, you’ll present the honoree with an envelope containing the first clue. You can have just a few clues or go all out with an extended adventure throughout the house or the neighborhood.

You can tie each clue to something about the person and your relationship or simply make them fun and challenging. The final clue, of course, will reveal the location of your actual gift for them, so make it count.

 

4. Unexpected Discovery. Instead of giving the gift directly, you can let the recipient stumble upon it. Whether wrapped or not, place the gift somewhere unexpected, like the medicine cabinet, cereal box, or briefcase.

Other options could include shoes, where they’ll feel something amiss before getting a delightful surprise.

This works best when the surprise location fits into a routine that doesn’t change day-to-day, so your recipient is completely caught off guard when something extraordinary pops up. Don’t forget to hide your gift so well that it’s overlooked or lost.

 

5. Your Special Place. Think of locations that hold unique significance for you and your relationship. These memory-filled spots can elevate the moment you give your significant other a gift. The place doesn’t have to be serious—grabbing fast food where you shared your first kiss can be just as touching as the beach where you proposed.

Alternatively, you can tie the gift-giving to another activity you know they’d love, such as attending a concert of their favorite artist or hiking a trail that’s been on your bucket list. Wherever you go, ensure you’ve secured the gift safely until the perfect moment arises.

To keep the element of surprise, suggest the outing as if it’s just an event in itself, with no mention of gifts or special occasions. Then, when the time feels right, share your hidden gift—surprise!

With just a bit of creativity, you can make gift-giving almost as rewarding as the gift itself. Jewelry, for example, is such a treasured and personal gift that it’s worth going the extra mile to create an experience that matches its value.

 

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